Strong coffee tops anything Leroy Malloy has to say


The best way to start most days is with a strong cup of coffee.

Recently, I was on my way into my favorite coffee venue when I heard a voice say, “Hey Volz, did you really say that the San Antonio Spurs could be much-improved?”

Yes, it was the indisputable voice of the self-employed handy-man and self-anointed expert on everything, including sports, Leroy Malloy.

I turned and said, “With their selection of Victor Wembanyama with the first pick of the NBA draft, the Spurs chose a player who turn the franchise around.

“Fans should not expect an instant turnaround. Wemby has yet to play in a regular season game. And the Spurs have a very, young nucleus of players,” I said. “They need time for that talent to mature and they need to add a few veterans to balance out the team.

“So, Leroy,” I chuckled. “It may take a while longer before Victor Wembanyama becomes Win-banyama.”

Rolling his eyes, Malloy said, “Win-banyama? Volz, there you go tryin’ to be funny again. If you wuz half as funny as you think you are, you’d be 100 times as funny as you really are.”

Hurt by his lack of appreciation for my cleverness, I moved on to baseball. “So Leroy, who do you think will win the American League West?”

“My Texas Rangers got off to a good start this season, but they have lost a lotta games prior to the All-Star break,” said Malloy. “I think your Houston Astros are the team to beat if they can just get all of their players healthy.”

“Speaking of the All-Star break, what did you think of the recent All-Star game,” I inquired.

“Jimmy, I don’t watch the All-Star game any more. Time wuz when those games meant something,” said Leroy. “Back then, the players did not have big money contacts, so the bonus money they received from winning the All-Star game was important.

“With the money that players make today, most of them prefer to skip the All-Star game for a few extra days of rest,” said Malloy. “Those who play in the game just kind of go through the motions.”

“Hey, Leroy, the start of football season is just around the corner! Do you have any pre-season predictions?” I asked.

“I think my Cowboys will be better. I still have my doubts about Dak Prescott leadin’ the team to a Super Bowl,” he said.

“What about the Houston Texans. Will they be better?” I asked.

“They got a new coach, they drafted some good players in CJ Stroud and Will Anderson Jr., and they play in a weak division, so they should be better,” Malloy stated.

“Houston took Iowa State wide receiver Xavier Hutchinson in the sixth round. He could be the steal of the draft,” I said.

“Hutchinson just needs to make big catches. In the game against your Texas Longhorns last year, he rolled up a lot of yards, but he dropped the pass that might have given the Cyclones an upset win at Austin,” said Malloy.

“Speaking of my Longhorns, what about the third season for Steve Sarkisian?” I asked.

“Volz, Sark has been stockin’ the talent cupboard since he arrived at Austin. Now, its time for the Horns to use some of those ingredients to cook up a winning meal,” said Malloy.

“What about those Fighting Texas Aggies?” I asked.

“Like Sark, Jimbo Fisher has plenty enough talent at A&M, but you gotta win games,” declared Malloy. “That is what separates Nick Saban and Kirby Smart from the others in college football. They win.”

Before Leroy could continue, I grabbed my coffee and made a bee-line for the exit.

Unlike my favorite coffee, Leroy Malloy’s sports opinions are not good to the last drop.

James Volz is sports editor for the Uvalde Leader-News.